Below is a brief summary of what talked about tonight. Most of the time we teach through a series for several weeks at a time that way students that miss can get caught back up quickly, and so we can dissect a topic more fully than just a one night deal. Use the overview and questions for both you and your teen to answer and have a dialog that continues outside the church walls and into your homes. Use this opportunity to see what God is teaching your student and also allow your student to see what God is teaching/taught you.
Current Series:
Fast. It’s how our culture likes to do things. Because we lead such busy lives, we have become masters at finding the quickest way to accomplish nearly everything. This need for speed has led us to some of the best inventions ever—things like the drive-thru, the microwave, and movies on-demand. Unfortunately, it’s that same desire for instant results that gave us some not-so-awesome inventions. Have you ever tried instant coffee or instant mashed potatoes? Not nearly as good as the real thing. The truth is, while fast is awesome, there are some things in life that just take time. Maybe that’s why the Bible keeps mentioning this idea of sowing and reaping, or planting and waiting for something to grow. Because while our temptation will always be to look for a shortcut or to focus our attention somewhere that will give us faster results, we run the risk of missing out on some of the best things in life when we don’t work on them over time.
This Week's Recap:
Week #2 (04.13.2016):Choices over Time
Bottom Line: Wise decisions over time equals character
We’ve all encountered people who didn’t exactly have the best reputations. Maybe they were known for being mean, or selfish, or arrogant—either way, you’d probably say they didn’t have much character. But how do people turn out that way? Most people don’t set out to become mean, selfish, or arrogant, right? And if it can happen to them, then maybe it can happen to us, too. So how do we prevent that from happening? How can we begin making choices today to ensure that we don’t one day look around and realize we’ve become a person with no character? This week, we’ll take a look at a principle in the book of Ephesians as we begin to uncover what, exactly, determines our character.
Think about this with me...
If you missed last week's post, you'll need to look it up in the archives below in order for the next part to make sence. But you can try these things to help interact with your teen....
While you can’t make your student’s brain develop more quickly, you can cue them to fast-forward their thinking. You can…
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Ask questions without questioning. Teenagers don’t always have to be told what will happen. (This may shock you, but they’re not big fans of lectures). But often, they don’t mind being asked, “What will happen if you do that?” or “What are some things you think you should look out for?” The key is to ask in such a casual way, with a casual tone, that they don’t feel like you have an agenda. Maybe try asking those questions while you’re doing something else like driving in the car or cooking dinner. Teaching kids to think through outcomes will help them eventually draw these conclusions on their own.
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Enlist other voices. There is just something magical about an outside voice that can help students think about their lives in a way they never have before. For sure, the voice of a teacher, a small group leader, or a coach might say the exact same thing as the parent. In fact, they may say it in the exact same way! But for whatever reason, at this phase your kid may be more likely to respond to questions from someone other than you. Talking through decisions and outcomes may feel safer when it happens with someone outside the family. Just make sure it’s someone you trust as well!
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Leave room for failure. The hard truth is this: predicting consequences is learned by experiencing consequences. If a kid is shielded from experiencing the natural outcomes of a poor choice, it can be harder for him or her to predict what will happen next time. And while that doesn’t mean you stand by while he or she does something dangerous, it does mean putting smaller consequences in place so they can experience them now instead of later.
When students begin to physically look like adults, it’s tempting to think that parent involvement is less needed. But don’t be fooled by the outside appearance. The developing brain on the inside needs you more now than ever. Like the driver in a manual car, parental prompting is often the only way for a kid to know when it’s time to “change gears.”
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Ask questions without questioning. Teenagers don’t always have to be told what will happen. (This may shock you, but they’re not big fans of lectures). But often, they don’t mind being asked, “What will happen if you do that?” or “What are some things you think you should look out for?” The key is to ask in such a casual way, with a casual tone, that they don’t feel like you have an agenda. Maybe try asking those questions while you’re doing something else like driving in the car or cooking dinner. Teaching kids to think through outcomes will help them eventually draw these conclusions on their own.
•
Enlist other voices. There is just something magical about an outside voice that can help students think about their lives in a way they never have before. For sure, the voice of a teacher, a small group leader, or a coach might say the exact same thing as the parent. In fact, they may say it in the exact same way! But for whatever reason, at this phase your kid may be more likely to respond to questions from someone other than you. Talking through decisions and outcomes may feel safer when it happens with someone outside the family. Just make sure it’s someone you trust as well!
•
Leave room for failure. The hard truth is this: predicting consequences is learned by experiencing consequences. If a kid is shielded from experiencing the natural outcomes of a poor choice, it can be harder for him or her to predict what will happen next time. And while that doesn’t mean you stand by while he or she does something dangerous, it does mean putting smaller consequences in place so they can experience them now instead of later.
When students begin to physically look like adults, it’s tempting to think that parent involvement is less needed. But don’t be fooled by the outside appearance. The developing brain on the inside needs you more now than ever. Like the driver in a manual car, parental prompting is often the only way for a kid to know when it’s time to “change gears.”
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