What's Happenin' @ Forward Mid-Week

Below is a brief summary of what talked about tonight. Most of the time we teach through a series for several weeks at a time that way students that miss can get caught back up quickly, and so we can dissect a topic more fully than just a one night deal. Use the overview and questions for both you and your teen to answer and have a dialog that continues outside the church walls and into your homes. Use this opportunity to see what God is teaching your student and also allow your student to see what God is teaching/taught you.

Current Series:

When it comes to Christmas, there is a lot to look forward to. Candy canes, tinsel, twinkling lights, and—oh, right. The gifts. If you’re like most people, you’ve probably spent some time thinking about the gifts you’re hoping to receive this Christmas. Maybe you’ve even made a list so your friends and family know exactly what to give you. But while it’s fun to unwrap a gift you’ve been waiting and hoping for, have you ever been given a gift that took you entirely by surprise? A gift you didn’t even know you wanted until you opened it? A gift that was completely unexpected? Unexpected gifts have been at the heart of the Christmas story for more than two thousand years, beginning with the very first Christmas. And believe it or not, it was God who began the tradition. For the next few weeks, we’ll talk about three times God surprised the world with a gift that was entirely unexpected. And, as we do, we might just discover how much those gifts continue to matter today.

This Week's Recap:

Week #1 (11.30.2016): Silent Treatment

Bottom Line: Even when God is silent, He’s up to something.

What we talked about:

You’ve heard of the silent treatment, right? If you’ve ever been on the receiving end of the silent treatment then you know it’s confusing, hurtful, and just no fun at all. Have you ever felt like you were getting the silent treatment from God? You’ve prayed for something and felt like you never heard Him respond. You’ve been in a hard situation or have questions about things happening around you, and it seems like God is nowhere to be found. If you’ve ever felt that way about God, I’ve got some news for you—you’re not alone! In fact, lots of people in the Bible felt this way, too. As the Old Testament came to a close, believers in God were left with hundreds of years of what seemed like silence before His work in the New Testament began. But as we look at the end of one chapter and the beginning of another, we’ll see that even though God seemed silent, He was working on behalf of His people all along. Christmas was coming!

What's Happenin' @ Forward Mid-Week

Below is a brief summary of what talked about tonight. Most of the time we teach through a series for several weeks at a time that way students that miss can get caught back up quickly, and so we can dissect a topic more fully than just a one night deal. Use the overview and questions for both you and your teen to answer and have a dialog that continues outside the church walls and into your homes. Use this opportunity to see what God is teaching your student and also allow your student to see what God is teaching/taught you.

Current Series:

What makes you happy? Or what would make you happy? That’s probably an easy question. Everyone’s got something. We all daydream about a trouble-free life made possible by something: a car, a house, a boyfriend/or girlfriend, a spring break trip, or just a pile of money. We all have something that could fill in the blank, I’d be happy if ________. And, we all spend time going after those things. Thinking about them. Hoping for them. Maybe even praying for them because, on some level or another, we all want to be happy. But isn’t it true that even when we get what we want, we aren’t happy for long? Pretty soon, we start daydreaming about something new. If happiness is the goal, why is it so hard to hang on to? And what do we do when the very things we think will make us happy end up making us miserable? In this series, we begin to ask the question, what makes you happy? And, one thing we’ll find is that Jesus cares a lot about our happiness. Not only that, we’ll discover where we find happiness may be in a different place than we ever thought—having to do less with a what, and more with a Who.

 

This Week's Recap:

Week #3 (11.16.2016): OWN WORST ENEMY

Bottom Line: If you sow better, you’ll reap better.

What we talked about:

Have you ever been hurt by someone you love? Maybe they said some cruel words to you. Or maybe they did something that betrayed your trust. No matter what it was, when it happened, you probably wanted to separate from them for a little while. It’s normal to want to put a little distance between yourself and someone who’s making you unhappy. But what if we told you that the person who has the potential to make you unhappier than anyone else is the one person you can never get away from? What if we told you that person is you? Think about it. When it comes to things in your life that have brought you the most pain, unhappiness, and regret—things you said, things you did, people you dated, places you went—they all have on thing in common: you. You’re making choices now that ultimately have the potential to rob you of your happiness later. But thanks to Jesus, it doesn’t have to be this way. He gives us access to a life that not only saves us from unhappiness now, but will also lead us to even greater happiness down the road. As we close our series this week, we’ll see that we have the power to choose a life that makes us happy—a life with Christ.

Just for you....

By Sandra Stanley
“Who in the world told my kids they could have a life of their own?” I remember regularly thinking this while our kids were teenagers. Just when we hit an awesome parenting stride (and by awesome I mean I was pretty much in control of their schedules and daily details, and made sure none of it actually conflicted with MY important plans), they started individuating and making plans of their own.

As parents, this is the season in our teenagers’ lives where we begin to battle two conflicting emotions: the urge to take back control and the desire to become buddies. Both usually originate from legitimate motives. For the former, we don’t want them to fail and we believe we hold the keys to preventing that. For the latter, we want them to like us during a chunk of years when they possibly won’t. Both are tempting. But ultimately, both are a disservice to them.

Since our kids are entering a new season of life, a new parenting approach has to be considered. For their sake, we need to loosen the tight reigns of the training years and move to the sidelines for coaching. Coaches don’t the leave the field. They don’t get distracted with other stuff. They watch carefully, call some plays, and pull their players off of the field from time to time. They have no immediate goals of keeping their players happy. Mostly, they encourage their players to run the plays and respond to situations according to the training they’ve received.

Transitioning to the coaching role wasn’t intuitive for me. Disciplining and training had become ingrained. For me, the switch was easier when I began to think about it, and my kids, in terms of being for them. I wanted them to know, “I’m for your physical safety, I’m for your emotional health, I’m for your relational success, I’m for your mental and spiritual development, I’m for you making it to the end of these middle school years, or high school years, with as few regrets as possible. You’re the player, but I’m not afraid to pull you aside for tweaks, corrections, and sometimes sitting out a game. I’m for you. I know you can do this, and I’m here to help when you need it.”

Resisting the urge to control and not caving to the desire to prematurely make friendship a priority brings health to a family. Coaching our kids through those middle and high school years, in spite of a few regrets here and there, is the stuff rich relationships are made of later. In hindsight, I’ve been pleasantly surprised. My kids gaining “a life of their own” has truly broadened and enriched mine!

From Parenting Teenagers Part 3: A Life of Their Own. For more from Sandra, check out SandraStanley.com.

Try This... 

What would it look like in your family for you to move to a coaching role with your kids? Think about it. Maybe coaching your family right now means you step back to the sideline and let them make some decisions on their own. Or maybe the opposite is true. Maybe it’s time for you to move back onto the field and coach them actively at this phase where they need you the most.

This week, choose one area where your kid is ready to grow and make a game plan for them to step into independence in that area. It could be with cell phones or chores or curfews or dating or money or just about anything else. But take the time to decide with them what steps they need to make in order to gain more freedom in an area where they want it most.
If they want more freedom with money, help them make a budget. More freedom with cell phones? Have them show you they can handle the responsibility that comes with it. You get the idea. Then let them know…

1. I am for you in this area. I want you to win with money, with your cell phone, with your dating life. The goal for me, as your parent, is that you gain more freedom and more happiness over time.

2. There are steps you must take. Because I’m for you, you won’t be given total freedom over night. But here are the specific steps you can take today to get to the next level of freedom tomorrow.

3. There will be course corrections. Each time you make wise choices, you’ll get more of what you want, but we know you’re learning and you may make mistakes. When you do, we’ll have to change the plan a bit, meaning each time you make dangerous or unwise choices, you will lose some freedom for a while.

 

What's Happenin' @ Forward Mid-Week

Below is a brief summary of what talked about tonight. Most of the time we teach through a series for several weeks at a time that way students that miss can get caught back up quickly, and so we can dissect a topic more fully than just a one night deal. Use the overview and questions for both you and your teen to answer and have a dialog that continues outside the church walls and into your homes. Use this opportunity to see what God is teaching your student and also allow your student to see what God is teaching/taught you.

Current Series:

What makes you happy? Or what would make you happy? That’s probably an easy question. Everyone’s got something. We all daydream about a trouble-free life made possible by something: a car, a house, a boyfriend/or girlfriend, a spring break trip, or just a pile of money. We all have something that could fill in the blank, I’d be happy if ________. And, we all spend time going after those things. Thinking about them. Hoping for them. Maybe even praying for them because, on some level or another, we all want to be happy. But isn’t it true that even when we get what we want, we aren’t happy for long? Pretty soon, we start daydreaming about something new. If happiness is the goal, why is it so hard to hang on to? And what do we do when the very things we think will make us happy end up making us miserable? In this series, we begin to ask the question, what makes you happy? And, one thing we’ll find is that Jesus cares a lot about our happiness. Not only that, we’ll discover where we find happiness may be in a different place than we ever thought—having to do less with a what, and more with a Who.

 

This Week's Recap:

Week #2 (11.9.2016): The Wrong Nation

Bottom Line: Peace with God paves the way to peace everywhere else.

What we talked about:

The idea of being at peace sounds pretty appealing. Who doesn’t want to be at peace with themselves or with the people in their lives? Easier said than done, right? We all know we can’t just wave a magic wand and make all of our problems with ourselves and others disappear. It’s just not that simple. But if peace is directly related to happiness, it’s probably worth trying to figure out how to get it. Believe it or not, the Bible actually lays it out pretty clearly for us. Time and again, the stories in the Bible illustrate one big thing when it comes to peace: if we want to be at peace with ourselves or anyone else, we first have to be at peace with God. Peace with God lays the foundation for peace in every other aspect of our lives. And because of that, God makes peace with Him readily available to all of us. This week we’re looking to the New Testament to see exactly how peace with God is attainable for us today. And as we do, we’ll find that it comes from the one thing that has the power to change our lives forever.