What's Happenin' @ Forward Mid-Week

Below is a brief summary of what talked about tonight. Most of the time we teach through a series for several weeks at a time that way students that miss can get caught back up quickly, and so we can dissect a topic more fully than just a one night deal. Use the overview and questions for both you and your teen to answer and have a dialog that continues outside the church walls and into your homes. Use this opportunity to see what God is teaching your student and also allow your student to see what God is teaching/taught you.

Current Series:

Have you ever been around an older person who talks about what it was like to be young? They reminisce about the music they listened to, the lack of responsibility they had, the freedom they experienced. They almost always talk about being young as if it’s awesome. And for the most part, they’re right. Being young is awesome. You don’t pay taxes. You don’t have to understand insurance. And someone, someone other than you, buys you snacks. It’s a pretty good set up. But just because being young is awesome doesn’t mean it’s easy. There are some tough parts to being a student. For starters, there’s school. Maybe you’ve heard someone say those are the best years of your life, but it sure doesn’t feel that way when you’re sitting in Geometry class. What’s worse is when people ignore you or treat you like you don’t matter because you’re younger—like somehow the date on your birth certificate disqualifies you from having an opinion. In fact, maybe one of the toughest parts of being young is feeling like you don’t count yet, like you can’t be heard or respected or even helpful until you’re older. And it’s frustrating because, deep down it feels like that shouldn’t be true, like there’s something wrong with that system. If you’ve ever felt that way, you’re in good company. As we take a look at two letters from the New Testament written to a young church leader named Timothy, we find not only why by but how to keep anyone from looking down on us just because we are young.

 

This Week's Recap:

Week #2 (09.14.2016): A Different Planet

Bottom Line: You have the choice to give them a voice

What we talked about:

Have you ever seen an older person and a younger person get into an argument? Maybe it was a teacher and student or a coach and athlete. Maybe it was a parent and their kid. Chances are, it was tense and both sides were sure of one thing: they were right. For some reason, that kind of tension has always existed between adults and teenagers. And, it can be tempting to feel like every conversation is a fight to be won. But, in all the frustration and questions over who’s right and who’s wrong, is it possible that we’ve missed out on something huge? As we check back in on what Paul has to say on the subject, we’ll see that choosing to listen to – not fight with – the older, wiser voices in our lives may just be one of the best decisions we can make.

 

This Part is For YOU Parents:

If you missed last week's post, click here. 

Here's the rest of the list to help you.

ADULTS WITH INTERESTING CAREERS
Other adults can broaden their imagination about the kind of career they can have one day. Look for any opportunity that can expose them to understanding what people who may be wired like them do as a profession.
 

Don’t limit their concept of work to what you do.
 

ADULTS FROM DIFFERENT BACKGROUNDS
Spending time with other adults who are from a different ethnic background can also play a critical role in how your kids treat and respect others. A significant part of their adult life will be interacting and working with people who are different than they are.
 

Don’t limit their view of the world to what you see.
 

ADULTS WHO ARE EXTENDED FAMILY
Something interesting happens to a child’s understanding of their family story when they hear your parents or siblings talk about you. It has a way of connecting them to a bigger family dynamic. It is always valuable to recruit key adults in your extended family to build relationships with your kids. They can usually be trusted to definitely have your children’s best interests at stake. Who are the adults in your extended family that can give your kids a sense of who they are and where they came from?
 

Don’t limit the connection to their family’s story to what you tell them.
 

Some of these leaders can be enlisted to help your kids with a specific task or on a short-term basis. Others can and will have long-term influence. Just remember the greatest thing that you do for you child may be what you get another adult to do.

 

TRY THIS

 
Every kid needs someone they can trust and someone their parents can trust to speak into their lives.
 

This week... try brainstorming a list of five people you trust to mentor or advise your kids.
 

Then, ask your son or daughter to look at the list and choose someone that he or she would be comfortable talking to.
 

The goal is for the two of you to decide together on someone that you both trust, someone who can advise your student when he or she doesn’t feel comfortable talking to you.
 

Once you’ve decided, give that person a phone call or an email and ask if they would mind being involved in your kid’s life this way. Chances are, he or she will feel honored that you asked.

What's Happenin' @ Forward Mid-Week

Below is a brief summary of what talked about tonight. Most of the time we teach through a series for several weeks at a time that way students that miss can get caught back up quickly, and so we can dissect a topic more fully than just a one night deal. Use the overview and questions for both you and your teen to answer and have a dialog that continues outside the church walls and into your homes. Use this opportunity to see what God is teaching your student and also allow your student to see what God is teaching/taught you.

Current Series:

Have you ever been around an older person who talks about what it was like to be young? They reminisce about the music they listened to, the lack of responsibility they had, the freedom they experienced. They almost always talk about being young as if it’s awesome. And for the most part, they’re right. Being young is awesome. You don’t pay taxes. You don’t have to understand insurance. And someone, someone other than you, buys you snacks. It’s a pretty good set up. But just because being young is awesome doesn’t mean it’s easy. There are some tough parts to being a student. For starters, there’s school. Maybe you’ve heard someone say those are the best years of your life, but it sure doesn’t feel that way when you’re sitting in Geometry class. What’s worse is when people ignore you or treat you like you don’t matter because you’re younger—like somehow the date on your birth certificate disqualifies you from having an opinion. In fact, maybe one of the toughest parts of being young is feeling like you don’t count yet, like you can’t be heard or respected or even helpful until you’re older. And it’s frustrating because, deep down it feels like that shouldn’t be true, like there’s something wrong with that system. If you’ve ever felt that way, you’re in good company. As we take a look at two letters from the New Testament written to a young church leader named Timothy, we find not only why by but how to keep anyone from looking down on us just because we are young.

 

This Week's Recap:

Week #1 (09.07.2016): A Different Story

Bottom Line:Change their View by what you DO

What we talked about:

Being young has its perks for sure, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy. There are some really tough parts to being a student. Things like homework and dating and balancing all of your after-school activities. Maybe one of the hardest parts of being young is that you feel like an adult, and yet you aren’t always seen that way. As a student, it can sometimes feel like adults are constantly looking down on you because of your age. Like what you say and what you think doesn’t matter. It’s frustrating to feel like you’re being treated differently just because you’re young. And it’s even more frustrating to feel like there’s nothing you can do about it. But what you may not know is that the Bible tells us there is something we can do about it. In fact, the Apostle Paul gives some really specific advice to the younger generation and one young leader named Timothy. As we look at what he says, we’ll find that we have the power to change the way people see us.

 

This Part is For YOU Parents:

Here’s a simple question to start thinking about, “Who are the other adults in your kids’ lives?” Personally, I think one of the biggest mistakes a parent can make is to try to
parent alone.

You should reject any notion that you are the only adult influence your kids will ever need. Reality suggests that, as your children grow up, they will look for approval and affirmation from someone other than you as a parent. So, the choice is simple. Either you are strategic about who else you will invite into their life, or they will pursue relationships with other adults on their own. But it will happen. It’s normal and natural for kids to desire a degree of attention from other adults or parents.
 

It is also important to realize that most research indicates that kids who have other significant adults investing in their life during their teenage years are better prepared emotionally and spiritually.
 

So, what will you do? You can resist, cooperate or compliment your children’s transition toward adulthood. Think about it, if your goal is to raise an adult who is independent of you, then you should start now. If you don’t like the idea of your children becoming independent from you then you may be parenting with a wrong motive.
 

But if you hope to unleash your kids to discover their potential, then open doors for your kids to connect to other adults. Why don’t you start by making a list of potential adults that could build a short-term or long-term relationship with your children.
 

Parenting with this in mind can make the difference in whether or not you limit the growth of your children, personally, emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually. Here are some categories to help you start thinking.

ADULTS WHO SHARE INTERESTS
Find someone who specializes in something your kids are already interested in doing. (Look for a friend who shares their interest in art, guitar, carpentry, birds, baseball, etc.)
 

Don’t limit their experiences to what you enjoy.
 

ADULTS WITH SPECIFIC SKILLS
Find someone who can help them develop a critical skill for adulthood. Look for a friend who is good at managing money, health and fitness, cooking, etc.
 

Don’t limit their skill to what you are good at doing.
 

ADULTS WHO ARE EDUCATORS
You would be surprised at how many of your friends were teachers or are presently teachers. Who can you invite into your kids’ lives to help them in their education? Look for friends who can inspire and temporarily tutor them in math, science, history, etc.
 

Don’t limit their learning to what you know.
 

ADULTS WHO BUILD FAITH
Find mentors or coaches who can help them grow spiritually. This is where a good church is important. Look for a church that strives to put consistent leaders in the lives of your kids. Attending church consistently allows your children to bond with other adults who will help shape their faith.
 

Don’t limit their faith to what you have discovered about God.

NEXT Week we'll look a few others.....

What's Happenin' @ Forward Mid-Week

Below is a brief summary of what talked about tonight. Most of the time we teach through a series for several weeks at a time that way students that miss can get caught back up quickly, and so we can dissect a topic more fully than just a one night deal. Use the overview and questions for both you and your teen to answer and have a dialog that continues outside the church walls and into your homes. Use this opportunity to see what God is teaching your student and also allow your student to see what God is teaching/taught you.

Current Series:

Science is fascinating. Even if you hate science class, you have to admit that the idea of conducting experiments is cool. It’s amazing how adding just a few drops of one chemical can create a reaction, adding a few drops of another can stop or deactivate the same reaction and adding a few drips of a third chemical can make the first two glow in the dark or it can make them explode! What’s crazy is that you can’t tell by looking at something what reaction it will cause. Maybe it’s an activator. Maybe it’s a deactivator. Maybe it’s neither. The only way to know is to keep testing it out and see what happens. Believe it or not, this is something faith and science have in common. We all experience moments that have the potential to activate or deactivate our faith, and it’s hard to tell at first glance which is happening. This was especially true in the life of one of Jesus’ followers and dear friends, Peter. As we take a closer look at his ups and downs, we’ll discover how sometimes the very experiences that threaten to destroy our faith are the ones that can activate it in a whole new way.

 

This Week's Recap:

Week #4 (08.31.2016): That's Not For Me

Bottom Line: When you have Jesus, you have it all

What we talked about:

Be honest. The Bible is kind of intimidating, isn’t it? We come to church and hear stories about Noah, David, Moses, Abraham, Daniel, and Paul, and it’s tempting to think there’s no way you’ll ever accomplish the things they did. And it probably doesn’t stop there. Many of us believe that God will use people like pastors, small group leaders, missionaries, or youth leaders to accomplish great things, but He’ll never use people like us. It’s almost as if there’s a special club for people with special, God-chosen talents that we know we’ll never get in. Believe it or not, Peter—the very same spiritual giant we’ve been talking about for weeks—probably felt the exact same way. God called him to some pretty big things, and it seemed like he might not have what it takes to do them. But then Peter had an encounter that changed the way he viewed not only himself, but also the God who called him. It was an encounter that activated a new understanding of faith. And as we look back one more time at Peter, we’ll see that this same life-changing, faith-building encounter is waiting for us, too.

 

This Part is For YOU Parents:

(Part 4 of 4.....the intro paragraph will be here each week, but the action item will change) 

 By Carey Nieuwhof

So, let’s just start by saying I’m not the most mechanically inclined person. But somehow that doesn’t exempt me from owning a garage filled with small engines: a snowblower, lawnmower, leaf blower, weed trimmer, and the like.
My technique for starting these machines is always the same: push the buttons and pull hard on the pull-cord. When that works, I’m off and running. When it doesn’t, I try the exact same things again. Then, I give up or call my friend John who fixes these kinds of things to tell him they’re broken.
 
More often than I’d like to admit, my friend John has come over only to tell me that my lawn mower wasn’t actually broken. I just needed a new approach. Sometimes I need to remember to adjust the choke, or try priming it again, or even to leave it because I flooded it. And then...like magic, it started because I tried something new. Teenagers are a bit like that.
 
When they don’t respond at age 15 to the things they responded to at age 10, we’re tempted to just try harder. But saying the same things more loudly, or trying the same tactics again and again won’t always turn things around.
 
After all, the teen years take away some of a parent’s favorite opportunities to connect, like bedtime stories and pick ups from school. So what do you do? Change your strategy.
 
If you want to get through to your teenager, here are some ways to connect that are unique to the teen years:

TAKE A DAY OFF WITH THEM
Throughout high school, I’d invite my sons to take a day off school. I’d take a day off work and we’d spend the day together.

And I get it. This feels so wrong. School is important, after all. But sometimes a day off is just what is needed to reactivate a relationship with your teenager.

What we did on those days mattered way less than the fact that we just took some time to be together. Sometimes it was shopping. Sometimes it was a road trip. Sometimes we just got ice cream and talked about life. The goal wasn’t to accomplish anything in particular other than letting my kids know the most important thing on my calendar was them.

One day, all you’ll have left with your kids is relationship. So take time to build the relationship. And when it feels like it isn’t working, try a new strategy.

TRY THIS
Breaking a pattern is sometimes the hardest thing we can do. And that is especially true in parenting. We fall into patterns and habits of connecting with our kids, but as they grow some of those techniques won’t work as well as we used to. And, sometimes starting a new habit is exactly what we need to reactivate a relationship with our kids at this phase.

This week, commit to focus on one of the four strategies that Carey talked about above.
•Be Around
•Eat Together
•Leverage Drive Time
•Take a Day Off With Them

Commit to focusing on bonding with your student in this way, and then set a recurring reminder on your calendar to do it.

Maybe for you that means scheduling time to just be at home with no to-do list or maybe it’s scheduling a family dinner. Maybe it’s planning to take your student on a road trip.

Whatever it is, plan for it and make it a priority. Your son or daughter will notice and it may just activate your relationship with them in a whole new way.